Fishing (2)

I should add that Eva caught more fish than anyone else!

Louis was interested in catching the fish but only once they had been dropped into the boat so he could chase them and nearly capsize us!

Fishing (1)

We're just back from holiday - vay-kay-shun to be precise - and we had a great time.

One of the stand-out things about this amazing country is its diversity. You've got the big cities, you've got the mountains, you've got the beaches, you've got the deserts, you've got the state parks and of course you've got Mickey Mouse and all his mates ready to scare the pants off your toddlers.

So, deciding upon a vacation destination is no easy task. We decided to go somewhere we wouldn't even have thought of if we were visiting from the UK - so, no New York, no Florida, no Rocky mountains and no DisneyWorld.

Instead we went to Minnesota. Minnesota is known as the State of 10,000 Lakes. We stayed on one of them - Lake Vermillion. The topography was amazing - there are 365 islands on Lake Vermillion. We stayed in a little log cabin on one of the islands and we were about 30 miles from the Canadian border. There's not an awful lot to do besides boating and fising on the lake and drinking in small-town bars but what's wrong with that?

Sports

For "sport" in the UK read "sports" in the USA.

There is no shortage of sports here - in fact, there's loads of it.

Unlike in the UK where players complain of fatigue if they play two games a week, here basketballers and baseballers play three, four, sometimes five times a week. And of course there is never a draw. Never!

I explained to my boss the other day that some of the best soccer games end as a high-scoring draw. He looked at me in a way I am becoming accustomed to -- a look that says "what is the British guy going on about?"

Oh The Beautiful Game! Of course, no such epithet here. It's just plain old "soccer".

I've managed to get myself onto a team in the local Co-Ed Soccer League. It's great fun but is proving to be a steep learning curve. For example, players are duty-bound to call the referee "Sir". An almost impossible task! But I am learning that if I swear at said Man in Black with as pure an English accent as I can manage he doesn't understand me. Also difficult is the fact that everyone is so darn nice on the pitch; no cajoling, no winding-up and no "what-you-lookin-at" type behaviour.

And then there's the co-ed element. Generally speaking, the girls are pretty much the best players on display and they encourage us to treat them like one of the lads - or words to that effect. Not a problem for me - the cynical, wrong-side-of-35 player that I am.

So, having been booked by the ref for some overly colourful language and having been given the general runaround by the other team's number 9 - Sally - for the majority of the match, I decided to pile into her and take her out from behind.

My team-mates, unimpressed, told me that sort of behaviour just isn't soccer.

They're right of course...but it is football!

Viva Vas Vegas

We took a trip back home recently, and had a great time.

....Caught up with friends.

....Went to the pub.

....Ate fish & chips.

....Introduced Gaby to her grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. She took it all in her stride.... slept through most of it in fact.

We timed our trip to coincide with the annual camping trip we take with three other families. Myself and the other dads afforded ourselves a little nostalgia as we kicked back in the Derbyshire countryside, supping down our warm beers; remembering the first of these trips a few summers ago when we had a grand total of three kids between us. These days, of course you're no-one unless you've got at least two kids of your own.

Gobsmacked by our own virility, the banter was flowing and - as the empty Carling cans piled up and we admitted defeat in controlling our phalanx of hyperactive kids - Graham came out with one of his classic lines - Viva Vas Vegas!

It's a You-Had-To-Be-There joke but it deserves a nod to my three fellow, soon-to-be-sterile Dads for a plan well-hatched; Vegas will be a Boys On Tour trip like no other - a bit of gambling, take in a show and then buy a cushion each! And we won't need to buy bigger tents!

Je suis Anglais

It's a funny old game this living in America.

It seems that every day brings something to wonder at...

...whether it's a Thank You card from the dentist for choosing their practice to have a filling; or
...being refused a Bud Lite in Joe's Crab Shack because I don't look old enough to buy booze; or even
...having a supplier meeting at work with a guy called Dodd Starbird. Dodd Starbird!!

And yes, I have occasionally used these virtual pages to pass a mocking eye on these and other things American.

Fair game I say; I'm sure that those of our Yank counterparts whom are ensconced in the UK have a good old laugh at the many idiosyncracies of Blighty.

But I have to tell you that the biscuit was well and truly taken the other day when I was in the supermarket with Eva & Louis and - a propos of nothing - the cashier noncholantly asked...

"Are you guys from France?"

My first reaction was to check if I had a string of onions around my neck.

My next reaction of course was to ask if he was looking for a fight.

But I had the kids with me...and he was a big fella.

So I went for the diplomatic approach: "We are from Eng-er-land"

He looked confused, so I continued: "It's a small town outside Paris"

Onwards and upwards......

Bring me sunshine

Boy, did we have some weather this weekend?

A whopping 75F!

Now, dear Reader, let me tell you that when you've been more used to minus 20F, 75F is positively tropical. I was so happy to see the sunshine that I ran out into the garden like a deranged Englishman, said "pah" to the factor 30, and got the knotted handkerchief on my head. I then remembered that we are about 25,000 miles away from the coast but no matter - we have a hose and no hose-pipe ban; this is America where resources are meant to be plundered!

This morning, I regretted having ignored the factor 30 as I took my red self into the office and received some well-deserved ribbing. But after a 6-month winter, it felt like the best sunburn ever.

Gabriella

Age: 2 months

She is doing great and showing impressive resilience in the face of her siblings' physical attention.